The title “Déjà Vu Smoothie”, I am sure sounds a bit strange. Life is strange and that I think that’s what I love the most… Life is beautiful! Everyday a new discovery is made in learning to hear again with my CI. This video is my “Déjà Vu Smoothie”. I was here before, capturing sounds I wanted to remember before my surgery in April. Here we are again! To me its so jaw dropping (I can’t think of a better way to describe this.) to see how far I have come.

Sound of the Blender-

The sound of the blender, I am sure to most it’s annoying. To me it’s amazing.. Again the noise is different. I know its going to be… It’s about differentiating sounds… The sound I picked up was soft… Comparable to have the volume TV so low you can just make it out. High pitched…. I make not of this in my journal but think of Darth Vader on helium… that’s the sound I get.

Deeper Thought-

This is the second smoothie I have made and drank since April…. I think I stopped because the emotion I felt from adjusting to the deafness and recovering from a brain surgery was too much to take in… doing something I love and not getting the sounds. It was similar to flipping a light switch. I really didn’t have time to grasp the concept… I mean so fast my hearing was gone. If I could have froze time and held on to those final moments of hearing my family voices and my favorite musician’s songs, I would have. I think anyone would have, in the same position anyone would have. I tried making a smoothie a few times after surgery but I couldn’t stand to drink it because the sound memory of my blender would just play in my head and made me miserable.

Since Activation I have made two smoothies. (I LOVE SMOOTHIES!!!) … First off it so ironic that something so sweet and simple could bring joy to my life. The first smoothie, I let my emotions get to me and cried… yup I cried over a smoothie.

I think what most people miss… KISS- “Keep It Simple, Silly.” We invest so much time and stress over things that really doesn’t deserve that kind of credit.

“Did I pick up milk at the store?”

We all need to stop and look at the bigger picture in life and just be thankful for the goodness that surrounds you here and now. The milk will get picked up, when you get to it. No need to worry over the small stuff.

I have to give my parents all the credit for instilling this belief in my head and encouraging me to live by this everyday…

“Take life as it comes, because tomorrow is not a guarantee, so enjoy what is in the present and what will be, will be.” -Jessica

My life is a never ending circus full of medicals woe’s… I can’t tell you what happens next. My advice to life as a whole… is to just go with it. Be a good person and the rest will fall into place.

Peace, Love, Rock on!

Jessica

Personal Notes on the beach-

I went to the beach and it was awesome! I heard the waves… they sound different (sounds from the CI are digital so it’s kind of a “pfft” noise. everything is with subtle differences.) But I could differentiate the waves from the wind. I could recognize closing my car door and starting the engine in the car.

On a deeper note-

It was such a mixed feeling experience. It’s sad it sounds different but I am open to learn to hear again and I know it will be different. (This is artificial sound and it’s going to take time for my brain to adjust.) All the sounds I knew before are memories that will forever live on in my head.

My experience on the beach was a sense of deja vu… “I’ve been here and this is how it was supposed to happen.”

In March I counted down the days to my surgery by capturing sounds that took for granted and wanted to look back on and remember those sweet sounds by the video… I missed the waves that 1^st day because the icebergs had not melted. This time I got them. It was unusual but all too familiar; I grew up on that beach and have played in that lake for as long as I could remember. I heard the waves crashing on the beach in my head. A memory sound and it just kept playing as I drove away. Those videos I made served there purpose.

On to discovering more sounds!!

Peace, Love, and Rock on!

Jessica