Life Inspires Me

Posts Tagged ‘friends’

When Superhero’s Meet Again:

Thursday November 20^th, 2008 started out to as any other day…. I was in Chicago staying with friends and woke up to have a cup of tea and fooling around with my Blackberry. Today held special meaning, for I was reconnecting with someone whose words I held so dear to my heart. Maybe this is putting him on a pedestal as a hero but I adore him… he is an inspiration. Today I was seeing Matt Nathanson. I had butterflies in my stomach and mixed emotions that clouded my thoughts. Would he really remember me??? Will he still like me, even though I can’t hear his music like I once did???

“We’re here!!!” Megan Healy texted me (Matt’s tour manager, who I’ve also bonded with this year) the band just arrived in Chicago.

I was nervous and overwhelmed with such doubt. I started to get ready and stood in the shower pondering what it would be like when we saw each other that night and how we would communicate since he didn’t know sign language and I was still learning to read lips. Snap out of it Jess! You are starting to look like a raisin! Trying to shake the thoughts I dried off and did my hair. I wonder what he will say to the large bald spot on my head. (The large bald spot is from surgery and my many failed attempts at shaving a spot to place the magnet sticker for my Cochlear Implant. It’s easy to shave my legs, but shaving a part of my head when I can’t see is a different story.)

Giving my hair the once over I crawled into the sink to put on my war paint (apply makeup) and gave myself the final pep talk before I left for the House of Blues (the concert venue Matt was performing at… Also known as HOB) I texted my friend Tim, (who I was staying with) about a million times that day, asking if I should go and if it would be ok to just hide under the bed till Matt left town… trying to talk myself out of it. ”Jess you’ll be fine. You are a strong girl. That’s what I love about you and you can do this.” Tim would continuously reply in text.

My game face was on. My hair was straightened and after trying on every outfit I packed countless times, I was ready. You are one hot mess! Go kick some ass! I seriously said this to myself in the mirror. With Tim’s words of encouragement, I grabbed my coat and left to flag down a taxi. By the way rush hour traffic sucks! I sat in traffic for 25 minutes. (The HOB is barely 3 ½ miles away, and should have been like maybe 10 minutes to get there.) Needless to say the whole day of pumping myself up for this felt like a waste. I wanted to just go home and hide under the covers but I had made it this far.

I finally arrived and picked up my ticket at the booth and headed up to go see Matt. Even with my Cochlear Implant I can’t quite pick up music (with that said it sounds odd I am at a concert. I wasn’t there for the music… it never has been about the music. I was here to reconnect with friends.) A drum roll played in my head as I walked up the stairs… Maybe it was my bongos??? My final thoughts as I was reaching the door to his room- Take a deep breath, walk in, and smile. I walked in.

Ever feel like the music stops because you appear? I felt like I had this huge sign I my forehead and everyone were going who’s that!?!? I followed my advice and took a deep breath. Where’s Matt?? My eyes scanned the room… There’s Megan! That moment felt like an eternity. Greeted with hugs from Megan and the band, Matt was on the couch tuning his guitar. He immediately jumped up with the biggest smile on his and gave me a huge hug. It’s moments like these… built up on such anticipation, that make it that much more cherished.

Huge sigh of relief! Time to enjoy myself! Matt and I sat on the couch before the concert and just talked….Conversation was easier then I imagined. Whatever I would miss he’d just write of my dry erase board.

I brought gifts for everyone (homemade trail mix) along with something special for Matt and Megan. They both had mentioned they want to learn sign so I brought a few books to help them learn. Megan liked it and was already finger spelling words I missed when trying to read her lips. (She had already learned the ABC’s and was amazing at finger spelling.)

I had a little something extra for Matt. How do you thank someone for all they have done for you over the years (I started getting into Matt’s music about the time I was diagnosed in 2000 and have always found inspiration in his sincere lyrics. I’m not a musician or a song writer, so I wouldn’t be the best at writing a song to show my gratitude. I don’t claim to be anything more then what I am. I’m not a painter but I enjoy art. It’s always been my window of creativity. That’s what I did; I painted an abstract piece to represent the common bond we had. I started about the time I had surgery in April and finally finished the piece recently for him.

I found comfort in his music and his words were my last. I can’t really go into it too much because I just become a blubbering mess…. Here I go putting him on a pedestal again but Matt is my superhero. He may not fly or run around wearing tights and a cape… We are both far from perfect and will never able to please everyone…. But that’s what I admire most is he just puts himself out there as is. It is an extremely rewarding thing when we are able to make a difference and positively impact someone’s life. Matt does that for me, so thank you for sharing your words and wearing your emotions on your sleeve.

The videos I posted are of us performing my final song… sorry the lightening wasn’t the best for my camera and I mess up a lot… really I don’t care. We had fun and that’s what matters.

Peace, Love, Rock on!

Jessica